Start with Self-Actualization: Walk with Certainty

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the dark conscious - Carl Jung

Embracing our own duality is something I have spent a lifetime walking through. I am of two waters: Bolivian by way of the Quechua people and New England through the English and Irish ancestors that came to America. Living in between the crash of these two waters has kept me both keenly aware and alive and at the same time flattened me out and left without breath.

This living with duality I can best describe it as when you are in the ocean and you are caught in a wave - it crashes you about, leaves you out of breath and almost at the brink of despair and then gently rolls you onto the sand. In that moment you feel both utterly exhausted and at the same time every sense is alive with sensation and exhilaration - so unexpected.

It has taken me most of my lifetime to realize that for me the learning is not outside of the waves or even the crash, but learning to live in between the tumult of waters and find peace.

This has been through a practice of both mystical forces and practical steps - neither it feels, I was in charge of...it just was how it was going to be done.

So when I say start with self-actualization, unlike the dominant discourse that insists Maslow's hierarchy of needs should be followed in linear fashion with the focus on basic needs first, I mean start with you who you are. With a small child, start with who they are...their first engagement with this world is in-utero...start there...who are they, what gifts do they bear, how will you listen for and hone those gifts and how, most importantly, will you get of the way so they can truly show up to the world? These are all big questions, and one's we should be exploring long before a child is in utero and this...this is self-actualization.
After a child is born, our first response is love - we hold, we gather up, we sing praises, we offer thanksgiving and then we nourish mind-body-spirit. We were designed this way. That is what breast milk does and the holding closely to the skin and the humming we do when a child cries.

So start with self-actualization. How to do this as an adult or a youth? I say, walk with spirit feet: both practical and grounded in the world and completely detached and in faith.

Listen
Listen to the voices within. I know that goes against Western healing practices - usually one does not want to hear voices other than the one coming out of their vocal chords! But I had no choice and these voices were always kind, loving and reassuring of truths. They showed up in a knowing I could feel in my body, not articulated with words, but a knowing that what I was doing was okay, or the direction I was headed in or the experience I was having - rough as it may seem in the moment - would turn out okay in the end. And even that phrase turn out okay had to be shaped by divine forces.

Learn
I am a voracious reader and have a huge appetite to learn, always have. Read what calls you, what others suggest, what shows up, what sounds interesting. Read Divine verses from various holy teachers and ideas from enlightened folk that resonates with something true within. In doing this, my vision was shaped and my definition of ideas was also widened. Everything will turn out okay was shaped by

"Man must live in contentment with the conditions of his time. He must not make himself the slave of any habit. He must eat a piece of stale bread with the same relish and enjoyment as the most sumptuous dinner. Contentment is real wealth. If one develops within himself the quality of contentment he will become independent. Contentment is the creator of happiness. When one is content he does not care either for riches or poverty. He lives above the influence of them and is indifferent to them." - Attributed to 'Abdu'l-Baha

And so I learned, everything will turn out okay is not an external condition, it is one that requires a shifting of belief systems I hold within myself...largely shaped by how I see myself and my self worth.

The Self
So who am I? This took a great deal of digging and a willingness to see possibility. Was it possible I was not as awful as I felt? That I wasn't what others told me I was when they sneered it out of the side of their mouths?
And so the journey began...healing sessions with a wonderful therapist who used both western and traditional practices in her healing work. I took the plunge inward and began uncovering past traumas, false belief systems created and learned how to walk the path of emotional well-being. I learned how to speak in a softer and more gentler voice that addressed my most vulnerable parts with compassion. I began to see myself as many parts of a whole: some felt broken and weighed down under the pressures of trauma and life, others were strong and like pillars seeking truth and light, and others were calm and surefooted moving gently ahead. I learned to see these parts of myself as one entity with many interplays of shadow and light...like a diamond fractions light, so am I.

The Truth
I cannot ensure many things, but one I can and that is that I, like everyone else, am a noble being. We are connected by the same noble force. I found this quote early on in my healing journey:

“Dost thou reckon thyself only a puny form
When within thee the universe is folded?" Baha'u'llah

This has been the truth I hold onto, the knowing, the peace within. I no longer look for external sources to nourish me, though I am grateful when they land on my doorstep. And when caught and ensnared in the external ideas of this world about who I am and how I should walk, I have these truths to come back to and remind me, the things of this world are transitory, my spirit is limitless and eternal.

Daily Practice
All of this has led me to a daily practice of the ancient tradition of meditation, prayer and self-reflection. For me, this is done in the cup of meditation upon awakening, followed by prayer and

writing out all the words dancing in my head. Sometimes it is just meditation with a daily chant and then, I journal throughout the day or I pause and breathe throughout the day or I remind myself how amazing and grateful I am. Sometimes my daily practice is more intense than others...I pull out my sage bundle during these times or I use a different essence of oil...I drink nourishing herbal teas throughout my day and I listen to music that always tells the truth.

No matter how the daily practice takes form, I trust and as I trust I develop faith and from faith I can love more deeply, more fully, with more presence. That is all that matters to me. 

Whatever it is, find your daily practice that nourishes your truth.

To explore more about this idea of a daily practice and what it unfolds like during a regular day, check out my podcast: The Human Experience.