Healing Work is like Giving Birth

"...for any movement animated by love moveth from the periphery to the centre, from space to the Day-Star of the universe...for when the motivating and guiding power is the divine force of magnetism it is possible, by its aid, to traverse time and space easily and swiftly." - 'Abdu'l-Bahá

When we are immature we often make decisions based on limited information or we only see part of the picture, because the whole picture is too big and it would mean taking in more than we can handle. I think this is true for Western society, it is immature, it was the last of the civilizations to develop and therefore its picture is not complete. This is also, to some degree, true of all of humanity - we are immature and as we move toward maturity, we will most likely go through what many adolescents go through in their own fits of growth and bursts of insight. Why do I say humanity is immature as a whole? Because we have truly just discovered that we are really one people, a global people, we didn't know yet that the rest of the world existed as we do today. Maybe there were elders and teachers that understood this, but overall humanity did not understand this reality. Today we are just beginning to see the truth of the statement, the oneness of humanity, and it is upending everything. Including our own selves, how we see ourselves and whether or not we understand our true nature. This is why I think the work of healing old wounds, clearing out false narratives, opening up truths has emerged so strongly in these last few decades. 

I too was called to what we now term healing work many years ago, at the tender age of fifteen and the healer I worked with was so much more than a therapist. She helped rearrange my inner narrative to match more closely the truth of who I am, a noble being with limitless potentialities. At that time we didn't worry about whether it was healing work or therapy or something else, it was a movement of clearing out false narratives and settling in truths and it was powerful work. 

Controlling the movement

Here's why this matters. In Western society we habitually take movements of limitless potentialities and diminish them into pocket size ideas that are controllable and easy to manage. Remember, we are still immature as a society, so it is easier for me to try something on that fits within my framework, rather than stretch my framework out. Why does this matter? Because if you don't stretch your framework you will not grow and being stifled will become another obstacle you will need to move through. It is hard for us to release this control because we are afraid of big movements, we have not been taught to trust, rather we have been taught to fear and this becomes an obstacle to our growth and gets in the way of truth. 

What's important to remember is healing work is a movement, you are learning to listen to and rewrite your inner narrative, setting new patterns of behavior centered on truth. This cannot be done from fear and control. Rather it must be done from love. 

Releasing Control

Luckily, healing work is like giving birth, it is imminent, it will happen, you, I, we will grow. Whether we want to or not, we will grow! And so the question is do we go kicking and screaming or do we let go and just move with the rhythm of what is being called from deep within us? 

This calling from within is surging within each of us and some of us have just gotten very good at numbing it out, no matter, it will win in the end and either you will listen and seek change or you will be destroyed or extremely limited at best. I know, sounds dark, but we see this all around us with increasing numbers of people taking drugs, both legal and illegal, to manage what is surging within them. These are not judgements, they're just reflections of our reality, the real question is what will you, I, we do with it?

I always encourage people to use every tool at their disposal to move through healing work. Use a pillow to cry in, use a journal to write in, ask a loved to hold space for you, use breath to get through it. Use every tool at your disposal that is there to serve you and uplift you. Much like a woman in labor who follows the rhythms of her own body to move through the act of birth, so we too move with the rhythm of our own healing work to give birth to what is coming.  

Finding the Gifts

Because like birth, on the other end of healing work are the gifts waiting to be found by you. The false narratives you hold about yourself diminish into a whisper and the truth of who you are gets stronger. Those things that once felt like obstacles - fear, anxiety, being lost - become stepping stones of strength - faith, trust and confidence in the truth of who you are.

You trust yourself more, you trust your body more. You love yourself more. Your language softens. Your heart softens. You know the truth - you are beautiful, you are loved, you have always been loved. 

These are hard won truths and for anyone that has been engaged in healing work, you know these nuggets of truth are everything and can never be taken from you.  

Giving into love

Ultimately, healing work is the work of love and that cannot be placed into a bite size nugget into your pocket. Love, the powerful force that animates the very universe, how could this possibly be diminished into a fifty minute session for six weeks! No, healing work is the very act of walking toward love and its life long, there will be pauses of great joy and deep love, moments of hard work and extreme pain, and then back again - that is why healing work is like a movement and when we give into love, we are only left with gratitude. 

Check out my podcast The Human Experience where I discuss this article in my latest episode

How to respond to a world in crisis: Inner and Outer Transformation

Oh Son of Spirit! Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself. Rise then for that which thou was created.  Bahá'u'lláh

Recently, my teenage daughter and I were in the hammock and she was feeling life was not fair. That's not surprising for adolescents to ponder, and I also know this usually has a background story, so I asked her why. She said her white friends don't have to worry about racism, about their father or brother being pulled over and getting hurt, and that doesn't seem fair. She's right, it's not fair and yet, it's not that they don't have to worry about racism, they do, they may not know they do and that is dangerous. 

For me life has been about transformation, since I was eight-years-old I began to consciously think about how to transform my life. It started with a dream. 

My parents divorced when I was three and by the time I was eight, I had been shuttled back and

forth between my mother and her New England, Anglo family and my Bolivian-Quechua Indian dad and his family in California. Neither had remarried, and both had strong roots with their brothers,

sisters, aunts and uncles and so by default did we. To say it was confusing to be shuttled back and

forth between cultures is an understatement - it was traveling between worlds and worlds that in textbooks collided and crashed and in reality, often was not much different with meat and potatoes in one home and llajua con silpancho in another, saluda con un beso every time you see a family member and to hug only once when you first arrive and when you plan to leave town. Every ritual, family norm, cultural nuance, pitch in language, rhythm of movement, everything held a unique meaning to each culture and I found myself often in trouble for getting it wrong with one group or the other. And then suddenly we moved, to a very small town in southern Mexico, in the furthest tip of the state of Quintana Roo, an hour from the now famous Tulum - back then no one knew of its existence except for locals and the occasional lost European tourist. I too was completely lost and felt I would never be normal again. 

I turned on the only person I could think of, my deceased eldest brother. Seems funny to say that, but my brother David had always been a part of our life. My father talked about his passing as the first born son, we went to his gravesite, we prayed for him, he was present and he wasn't and that made me mad. At eight I was mad - how come I got left behind to deal with the madness of the world and he didn't? I cried and howled to the moon. As I lay in my hammock, I railed at my brother. I was hurting, I missed my father, I felt confused by so many languages and cultures, I didn't feel a part of any world and here I was in the middle of a jungle in a hammock with no hope of ever making sense of what had become my reality. 

I cried myself to sleep. And that night I had a dream. An elder man, very warm, gentle and kind in his demeanor was walking in a garden with me. He was holding my hand and wore what I thought was a strange garment, I know today it is called an Abá - a traditional middle Eastern garb men wore. He asked me if I wanted to know why my brother didn't make it and why I did. I said yes. Because you will make it, you will survive and grow and develop. And when I awoke, my brother had become my ally and I knew my reality would change, I would persevere and be ok. Just like that, I was healed.

Now transformation is not that easy, it happened that this has been the only experience that has healed me so immediately, however it did spur me on a journey, on a path of change and it is one I have diligently followed with increasing focus ever since. 

Maybe because I was born of two great oceans of ancestors, I refuse to take sides. How could I, my ancestry makes the whole of my earthsuit, they give my life a long storyline and they remind me of what is sacred and real: The nobility of the soul. 

My Irish ancestor, who was in the revolutionary war, was a Lord, but when he fell in love with a commoner, he chose to release his title and all the lands that were attached, for a more noble and higher goal, love. With this in his heart, he crossed over from Canada to New England and settled in Vermont. 

My grandmother Cruzesa, of Quechua Indian heritage, was only allowed to legally attend school until the sixth grade, even though she had helped her father, one of the first indigenous lawyers, to translate the law from Spanish into Quechua that their people might know their rights. This experience settled her on a strong sense of justice for the rest of her life. 

These stories are the long line of history I stand on and they remind me the choices we make matter. 

I share these stories with my children, I remind them continuously of their nobility. I knew the best antidote to injustice would be to develop strong children, who knew their inner reality was solid gold and if they ever reflected anything other than that, it was because they were in transformation. 

That is how we grow and transform, through great tests and difficulties. We grow when these tests and difficulties cause us to face the darkness and sadness in us, when we are willing to look at the false narratives we tell ourselves about who we are. Where do these narratives come from? Initially, they come from younger versions of ourselves. These younger selves when faced with difficult and

painful experiences don't understand what to make of these experiences and if there is no healthy adult to help them understand what is happening to them, they create a narrative, a reason why and usually it is them, they are the problem - we become the problem. Our false narratives generally sound like this: I'll never be good enough - No one will ever want me - I will always be alone. 

I have found in my work that all human beings have some form of false belief about who they are, it's not surprising as all of the world civilization was touched by colonialism and in colonialism these narratives were systemized. It is in colonialism that people were systematically told there is an ideal and most likely you fall just short of this ideal. No one ever reaches this ideal, even the most blue-eyed, fair-skinned person, because it is not real and is devoid of anything spiritual - it is only based on a material image, a material mirage. However, it was systemized by color and this then put people in gradations of this ideal and of course, those that were at the bottom of those physical characteristics - the darkest hues of brown - would be the furthest away from this "ideal". And so a systematic way of ensuring false narratives that would materially empower a selected few was born.

This means narratives about who we are are also systemic in nature and because they're told through a material lens, they're also faulty. Coupled with my already faulty internal narratives, the external stories of who I am reinforce my false beliefs about myself and I begin to believe the stories the world tells me. This is particularly devastating when those narratives tell you that you are criminal, prone to violence and less intelligent. Of course, they are also devastating when they tell you that you must be perfect, the ideal and at the top. Social narratives are heavily influenced by our material world and thus, once again, fail to see the whole picture nor capture the whole human being. 

So how do I then deal with a world that is the throes of a crisis that promises to dismantle civilization should we not deal with it and promptly?

I am reminded of this quote when faced with this question:

“Then what Christ meant by forgiveness and pardon is not that, when nations attack you, burn your homes, plunder your goods, assault your wives, children and relatives, and violate your honour, you should be submissive in the presence of these tyrannical foes and allow then to perform all their cruelties and oppressions. No, the words of Christ refer to the conduct of two individuals toward each other. If one person assaults another, the injured one should forgive him. But the communities must protect the rights of man.” - 'Abdu'l-Bahá

I must keep one eye on my inner reality - where and when are my inner false narratives active and how do I continuously work with them to remind these younger parts of who I am that I am loved, that I am wanted, that I am valued. If someone personally injures me, work to forgive them as I know my noble self knows the truth of who I am and no one person's injury can remove that truth.

If I am not vigilant with my inner reality these narratives will run rampant and they will manifest themselves in everything I do. It will be my husband's job to make sure I feel loved, wanted and valued. It will be my boss who must demonstrate that I am valued and important. And if left unchecked within me, the world will need to prove to me my worth and it will always fall short of this as it was not designed to reflect our true reality. The material world is just that, material and we are spiritual in nature, we can never hope for the world to capture our true reality and reflect that to us, so I must not go to the world hoping it will see and value me, rather I must always see and value myself and by doing this I will do the same for others.  

This in no way means we are not actively challenging the world and its systems of oppressions, we do, we just don't expect them to tell us the truth of who we are, because they will always fall short of recognizing the truth our true essence. So I must actively work to address institutionalized oppression when I witness it and work through every available institution to seek justice. Systematic injustice and tyranny must not be tolerated, rather they must addressed and swiftly, through institutions that have the capacity to hold them accountable. If these institutions need to be dismantled and reimagined to better reflect the nobility of the human soul than this is what we, as a society, must do. 

So what I told my daughter in the hammock was this: We are all noble souls, but failing to see the purpose of this life, to transform and develop our souls, keeps us as mere animals. As it is through tests and difficulties that we grow, this world is a form of spiritual gym. Everyone is in this gym but some, it may seem have more gym equipment and seem to be tested with more vigor and intensity and will either develop strong spiritual muscles or be destroyed by their tests. Others, don't see all the equipment, or think its not for them and stay on the sidelines and these friends are truly the ones who lose, because rather then exercising their spiritual muscles, they become atrophied and can easily get ensnared and consumed by the material and selfish aspects of this world.

We cannot continue to demand systemic change and not ask the people who are in these systems to also change - and that means all of us - this is not an either or, it is an and, period. 

Love. An energetic force that binds and tears apart.

In a world that seeks to know, understand, move forward, advance, what space is there for love? Why does it matter? And what is this magnetic force anyway that draws us near and then tears apart, sometimes it seems all at the same time?

I have been reflecting on the power of love in my life and its capacity to at once hold everything together and then tear everything apart. This sounds odd. Let me explain.

It is love, of course, that first draws me near to my loved ones: my husband, my parents, my children, my dearest friends. And this initial draw is a glorious feeling of warmth, excitement, possibility, openness, all the energies of the universe seem within our grasp when love shows up - and in some sense they are!

Once I am in love's hold I become intimately close with those who are in this embrace with me. And this is where the rub begins. This intimacy asks of us to move toward acceptance of what is and have faith that more will come, and that is not something we can do without letting go. So odd that loves asks us to let go, but it does. I need to let go of all of my ideas of how I think these loved ones should behave, respond to the world, how I think they should love me, what I think they should do - love says let go and let me take hold of your heart and bring you faith and trust.

This is where love tears apart, it tears apart any false beliefs I have about who I am, that I am some how need to be okay with how others should show up to the world, how others should respond to certain situations, how others should even love me - especially if I love them. Love also tears apart any veils that keep me from seeing the truth of others - that all my loved ones are human beings in the process of opening up to their own true capacity, like me, and in this process will make big mistakes and move in ways that may be confusing or cause me to question who they are and how they are approaching life. And then love will say, let go, just love them, that is all they need. It is hard to do this, I want to tell them what they should be doing, how they should be doing it, even where they should be doing it and with whom! Goodness! But love is strong and because it is so strong in my life, it reminds me constantly that my only job is to love. Should these loved ones approach me to share their difficulties and ask for guidance or support - than yes! I can offer what ever I have and then again, let go and stay in love.

As I've traveled this journey with love a few times, there are a some nuggets I've learned:

Sometimes, its not as important to stay in love as it is to know how to get back to love! It's the journey to love that matters most, because it builds all the capacities we'll need to stay longer and longer periods of time in love.

When we show up everyday to the moments of our lives, even the difficult ones and perhaps even most importantly those, it is here where we develop all the tools necessary to illuminate the barriers to love. Thus those things that we once thought were obstacles become stepping stones!

 So what does it look like to show up? And what are the obstacles that keep me from loving someone unconditionally? That's it! Identifying what are the conditions I place on others on how they should love me - those are my obstacles.
So if I think my husband should do certain things for me - kiss me when he gets home, tell me he loves me every day, hold me when I'm sad, be romantic, give me gifts and flowers on my birthday - or that my kids should do certain things - hug me when they see me, become doctors or engineers, tell me what is going on in their lives - then when I expect these things and they don't happen, I am placing conditions on how I think my husband and kids should show me they love me!
I'm saying, this is what love looks like so love me this way. Of course, we can do this, but by doing this we might miss the magic of how to love more openly and how to receive love from someone else through their own gifts. It's okay, you say, I want my love the way I like it! That is okay, then what I have learned from love may not be meaningful to you. For those who are interested, read on!

Whenever I see love through my own eyes and begin to expect others to love me this way, these expectations have hidden message and they become obstacles:

• Why doesn't he kiss me when he comes home from work? - message: He isn't happy to see me
• Why doesn't he hold me when I'm sad? - message: He doesn't care
• Why doesn't he give me gifts on my birthday or why doesn't he know what I want on my birthday and give me that? - message: I'm not important
• My kids pull away and don't tell me what is going on in their lives - message: I'm not trusted
• My kids don't know what profession they want - message: I failed

Obviously these can vary, however, hopefully you get the gist - expectations that we hold over others and how they express love can become oppressive and ultimately create false beliefs about our value. Love asks me to flip these obstacles over and find their gifts. One of the ways to do this is to identify the emotion that is tied to the false belief and then look for its opposite, what would happen if you flipped the obstacle over?

• If my loved one isn't happy to see me, is it me? Am I the problem? - Emotion: Fear, flip it over its faith
•  If my loved one doesn't care about me, is it me? What if I'm unlovable? - Emotion: Fear, flip it and unlovable over and it can also become certainty - how can I not be lovable, whoever created me also created the majestic mountains and endless oceans!
• If I don't get expensive gifts from my loved one, does that mean they don't value me? Emotion: Sadness, flip it and of no value over and it's joy and worthiness!
• If my kids don't share with me all of their joys and pains how can I help them? Does that mean I'm untrustworthy? Emotion: Sadness, flip untrustworthy over and it's joy trust!
• If my kids don't know their path in life then I failed and if I failed, will I ever be good enough? Emotion: Fear, flip it and not being good enough over and it's limitless faith and self-assurance.

None of these messages are intended to bring shame. In my own personal healing work and in working with others, I have found these hidden messages to be universal across gender, ethnicities, etc. 

What I have also found is that as I steadfastly walk closer and closer towards love, I am asked to release these false beliefs, about myself and others! And when I can do this, others become incredibly beautiful in all of their glory. I stop deciding how they should love me and keep focusing on how very much I love them and how to continue loving them more!

How to have conversations of oneness when living under the boot of racism.

"The Path to guidance is one of love and compassion, not of force and coercion." - The Báb

It is difficult to talk about things we don't know about, especially in the culture of the current climate of the era we live in. Making a mistake is not explored, rather it is denigrated. Not understanding something is ridiculed and you are accused of not doing your work. How then can we learn?

It is difficult to explore this area of not knowing, especially in the light of racism that has caused so much damage. A fear that can keep us from healing is simply this, What if I don't know how to talk about racism? And yet, if we do not learn more about how to engage in this conversation more effectively and ultimately dismantle its deep roots, we all lose.

I've had many opportunities to engage with diverse peoples around this conversation, in particular in settings where those present wanted to learn how to engage in addressing racial prejudice and not fall into camps of either or, right and wrong, good or bad. Here are some of the nuggets we are learning. I say learning, because everything is in transformation right now and what may work today in the near future may continue to be molded and remolded again and again. So what are we learning? Your posture in these conversations matters deeply and creates a strong impact on how the conversation continues and develops. 

Of course, posture could also be called attitude - the attitude you carry when you do something. I like posture, because it assumes your whole being is walking into this conversation. This has always been important to examine when we do anything. We often examine our attitude when we do math, when we decide the pros and cons of a relationship, even when we decide if we will succeed at something or not. Why would we not examine our attitude when we address the most important issue of our era - the oneness of humanity.

A good place to start is with motivation: what is our motivation in engaging in this conversation? Do I want to convince others I am right? Do I think I know the truth and want to say it out loud? None of these or any others am I suggesting are bad motives. It is important to know what is driving you in this conversation. Here is a list of qualities I have found helpful to explore when looking at our posture in this conversation:

• Absolute love - This seems like a tough one, but I have found that if love is not present most conversations can go nowhere. Love makes room for forgiveness and the possibility of joy. We have to make room for everyone, it's the oneness of humanity we are seeking, and that means no one can be out - love can make this happen.
• Purity of motive - This goes back to why am I having this conversation. If I'm engaging in this conversation to convince others I am correct, then the assumption is I have the answer, and right now, I think we can assert no one has the answer. However, with purity of intention, I'm willing to learn with you to find the answer together. 
• Detachment - If I don't have this, then it is difficult to find the answer together, because once again I think my answer is right and I don't want to let it go. Or I'm attached to my emotions and by not allowing them to process, they cannot transform and thus they can cloud my vision. 
• Humility - This is a hard quality for us in the West, everything in our society teaches us to be first and to stand up and charge ahead. Again, these are not bad qualities. However, if we are not humble and do not make room for others and their experiences and ideas, then we are shutting out the possibility of finding truth and allowing the collective wisdom to shine through. 
• Patience - This will take time, it took 400 years to settle this cancer of racism deep into our culture, it will take time to remove it. We can and we will succeed in removing it, there is no doubt that humanity is moving forward toward a global vision of itself. And yet, we can imagine, to remove this cancer, it will take diligence and love and that will take time and a willingness for all to participate.

With these qualities creating the conditions for an honest exploration of the problem at hand, we can walk in with a desire to learn and a willingness to change. In our current climate, if someone doesn't understand something we call them out or get angry at them for not doing their homework. However, is it my job to police the behaviors of others? To make sure they get it? I'm not sure it is. I can share what I've learned, but this too must be offered in a humble and loving way. Again, I don't have any answers, just ideas that may contribute to answers.

Finally, we cannot look at things in a dichotomous way either. This is not an either or. This reflection merely tries to capture the qualities that would be helpful in learning how to talk about racism. This does not in any way dismiss the importance of knowing and understanding the history of institutionalized racism and its impact on the separation of people and its destructive nature on our psyche.

Is it important to know about the history of a nation and in particular about those on the bottom foot of oppression? Of course it is.
It is imperative we learn from those most severely affected by oppression - how did they survive and thrive despite their circumstances? They have much to teach us.

This also does not dismiss the current impact institutionalized racism has on the lives of people living under its boot. This is a complex issue and one that will most likely take centuries to completely unravel. I'd like to suggest, however long the road is that we must travel, it begin with love.

Our Breath: Bonding our Spirit to our Body

"Within the very breath of such souls as are pure and sanctified far-reaching potentialities are hidden. So great are these potentialities that they exercise their influence upon all created things." - Bahá'u'lláh

Recently I was reflecting on how the use of breath can help us move from our constantly thinking mind into the body...this inner landscape that holds so much of our story...and it occurred to me that the breath is really the bond between body and spirit. Our breath has truly been with us all our life in this world and it keeps our soul actively connected to our body through its rhythmic movement...inward, outward and back inward again. Its job is to keep our body connected to spirit that we might remain actively aware and present and ever connected to the Divine.

Why does this matter?

This world has so many distractions that can have our mind spinning. If we allow these distractions to run rampant, without the proper framing or boundaries placed around them, they become thoughts and these thoughts race around our mind trying to find a belief they can attach themselves too and call home. If we are not aware of these thoughts, they slide into our mind undetected, and before we know it we are struggling.

• Why do I have to do everything?
• Everyone else has it together, why can't I?
• What is wrong with me?
• When will I ever be okay? 

These become some of the racing thoughts that spin out of control inside of our mind and undetected our breath becomes shallow and we begin to feel hollow. 

What if none of this was true?

But what if we were actually okay? What if we do have it together and we really do have all we need? 

Our breath is one of the greatest teachers of truth if just follow it:

1. The breath is constant, it will not stop until its job is done.
2. The breath will open worlds unknown, just follow it on its inward journey through the body.
3. The breath trusts the body to respond to it and thus has a loving relationship with the body.
4. The breath is gentle.
5. The breath is present.

If we just follow the breath inward it will open up before us our inner landscape. 

With each breath we pay attention to, more will be revealed to us about who we are...ours is to sift through the false voices that tell us we are not enough and to land on the truth that reminds us we are deep and vast like the ocean, filled with life and an abundance of gifts awaits our attention...if only we take the time and search with love. 

Check out my latest episode on my podcast, The Human Experience: A Lab of Limitless Learning, where I explore this idea of utilizing our breath to connect our spirit to our body, getting us closer to love. 

Como creer que lo que haces importa, aunque el mundo no cambie

Cada época tiene su propio problema, y cada alma su aspiración particular. El remedio que el mundo necesita para sus aflicciones actuales no puede ser nunca el mismo que el que pueda requerir una época posterior. Preocupaos fervientemente de las necesidades de la edad en que vivís y centrad vuestras deliberaciones en sus exigencias y requerimientos. - Bahá'u'lláh

¿Lo que digo y hago, realmente importa? Hay tantas fuerzas opresivas sobre nosotros hoy día, que a menudo nos quedamos con la sensación de que nuestro pequeño trabajo, nuestros esfuerzos diarios son realmente tan minúsculos en comparación con la batería de no que nos enfrenta que parecen estar trabajando en contra no solo de nosotros, sino de todo lo que queremos. Entonces, ¿cómo puede importar nuestro trabajo?

Esta es una pregunta que ha cruzado mi camino varias veces, la mayoría de las veces conversando con otros y cuando me involucro en un espacio de sanación con las personas con las que trabajo. Inmediatamente mi cuerpo responde con un endurecimiento en el estómago y sé que es miedo ... entonces, ¿a qué tenemos miedo?

Esta vida nos desafía de muchas maneras, pero una de las más fuertes es que en nuestra esencia estamos hechos de espíritu y, sin embargo, vivimos en un mundo material. ¿Por qué importa esto? Porque la energía espiritual se mueve de manera muy diferente a la energía material.

¡La energía del espíritu no conoce restricciones de tiempo y no tiene límites físicos! Es por eso que nuestros sueños y visiones son tan importantes para nuestro movimiento. Podemos imaginar una realidad diferente, podemos imaginar mundos increíbles en los que participamos sin limitaciones. Debido a que esta es la realidad de nuestros espíritus, son energía que se mueve por la fuerza de nuestras visiones y sueños. Estos entonces están animados por lo que nutre a nuestros espíritus y esa es la información que alimentamos a través del material que leemos y digerimos.

Lo que alimentes tu espíritu importa.

¿Cómo alimentamos a nuestros espíritus? Maestros divinos y sabios de todas las épocas han dicho lo mismo: Santas palabras y oraciones. Palabras santas que elevan tu espíritu y visión a una imagen real de quién eres. Oraciones que te recuerdan tu verdadera esencia y te fortalecen para continuar.

Pero, ¿ya importa leer el texto sagrado en el siglo XXI?

Afortunadamente para nosotros, la ciencia occidental se está poniendo al día y nos dicen que cuando somos positivos y nos rodeamos de mensajes y afirmaciones positivos, ¡cambiamos y mejoramos! Entonces, leyendo textos sagrados, poesía que nos levanta durante la sombra de la noche, escritores que lucharon con sus demonios y encontraron luz en la oscuridad ... escuchando canciones que nos piden que nos expandamos, incluso a través de nuestro dolor, todo esto alimenta nuestro espíritu y ayuda. Ampliamos nuestra visión.

Entonces, ¿qué tiene esto que ver con el espíritu y la materia material?

Debido a que hay diferencia entre la energía espiritual y material, la energía material es estable y sólida, es lenta de cambiar y constante, por lo que puede crear la ilusión de permanencia. Cuando miramos el mundo a través de un enfoque material, pensamos que las cosas siempre serán como son, que el cambio tardará en llegar y que tal vez nunca llegue y, si creemos en esta ilusión, estaremos en peligro de rendirnos ... de no ver el inmenso valor de nuestros esfuerzos, tanto en palabras como en acciones.

Y así nos volvemos dependientes del mundo material y pensamos que para que haya un cambio debemos estar completamente a cargo. Sé que si muevo una silla sucede un cambio. Si lavo mi ropa quito las manchas. Y entonces empiezo a creer que toda la vida es así y que si estoy a cargo, entonces puedo crear el cambio que quiero controlando el resultado de cada acción que tomo. Esta es la ilusión de control: de alguna manera, si solo estamos a cargo, entonces podemos controlar los resultados.

Cuando creemos en la ilusión de control, comenzamos a estar realmente fuera de control, al tratar de controlar cada aspecto de nuestras vidas y las vidas de los demás. Dirigimos a nuestros hijos. Sometemos a nuestros empleados a la sumisión a través de sistemas de revisiones y redacciones. Manipulamos y maniobramos cada aspecto de nuestras vidas para que el resultado coincida con nuestra visión de lo que es correcto y verdadero.

Entonces, ¿por qué es esto malo?

Cuando nos consumimos tanto por el control, perdemos el control, dejamos nuestras emociones desatendidas, ya que no forman parte de nuestra visión de control y cuando dejas una energía poderosa como las emociones desatendidas, pueden volverse destructivas. Eventualmente nuestro control encontrará una fuerza que desafiará su habilidad. Cuando nos encontramos con esta fuerza, nos impulsará a someternos y aprender a escuchar nuestra energía espiritual como una fuerza motivadora o nos degeneraremos en comportamientos más inhumanos en un esfuerzo por controlar el resultado que deseamos. Podemos racionalizar estos comportamientos según sea necesario para lograr el resultado que creemos correcto y verdadero, cuando la realidad es que podemos tener miedo de lo que significa si no logramos nuestro resultado. Debido a que la dependencia del mundo material para nuestro bienestar y valor personal, nos permite alcanzar un estándar de éxito muy alto que también se mide en el mundo material. Comenzamos a creer que más dinero significa más éxito; Una promoción, significa más éxito; Una casa más grande, significa más éxito. Y perdemos de vista lo que en realidad podría ser de mayor servicio para nosotros por toda la eternidad: la fuerza de nuestro espíritu.

La fuerza de nuestro espíritu es lo único que podemos llevar con nosotros cuando morimos.

¿Y cómo fortalecemos nuestro espíritu?

Al liberar el control. Aprender a trabajar con los demás y su visión. Aprender a desarrollar el tacto y la sabiduría de cuándo hablar y cuándo permanecer en silencio. Aprender a tener paciencia y fe en el proceso de crecimiento por el que se está moviendo toda la humanidad. Y de suma importancia, aprender a tener humildad ... confiando en que todo lo que nuestro espíritu aspira, cuando es guiado por las fuerzas del amor y la unidad, seguramente contribuirá al progreso del mundo.

En palabras de una de las grandes luminarias de Oriente,

"Un hecho en este día, es equivalente a los hechos realizados durante cien mil años" (Bahá'u'lláh).

Supongo que no podemos decir realmente qué impacto tienen nuestros esfuerzos y nuestro trabajo en el mundo, pero confiaré en Bahá'u'lláh y me preocuparé ansiosamente por las necesidades de esta era en la que vivimos y haré todo lo posible para que mis acciones reflejen lo mejor de mi espíritu y de lo que tengo para ofrecer al mundo.

How to believe your work matters, even if the world doesn't change.

Every age hath its own problem, and every soul its particular aspiration. The remedy the world needeth in its present-day afflictions, can never be the same as that which a subsequent age may require. Be anxiously concerned with the needs of the age ye live in, and center your deliberations on its exigencies and requirements. - Bahá'u'lláh

Does what I say and do, really matter? There are so many oppressive forces about us today, that often we are left feeling that our small work, our daily efforts are really so minuscule in comparison to the battery of no's we face that seem to be working against not only us, but everything we love. How then can our work matter? 

This is a question that has crossed my path numerous times, most often in conversation with others and when engaged in a healing space with people I work with. Immediately my body responds with a tightening in the gut and I know that is fear...so what are we afraid of?

This life challenges us in so many ways, but one of the strongest is that in our essence we are made of spirit and yet we live in a material world. Why does this matter? Because spirit energy moves very differently then material energy.

Spirit energy knows no restrictions of time and has no physical bounds! It is why our dreams and visions are so important to our movement. We are able to envision a different reality, we are able to dream up incredible worlds in which we participate in without limitations. Because this is the reality of our spirits, they are energy that is moved by the force of our visions and dreams. These then are animated by what nourishes our spirits and that is the information we feed ourselves through the material we read and digest.

What you feed your spirit matters.

How do we feed our spirits? Divine teachers and sages of all eras have said the same thing: Holy words and prayers. Holy words that uplift your spirit and vision to a true picture of who you are. Prayers that remind you of your true essence and strengthen you to continue on.

But does reading sacred text in the 21st Century even matter anymore?

Luckily for us, Western science is catching up and we are being told that when we are positive and we surround ourselves with positive messages and affirmations, we change for the better! So reading sacred text, poetry that sees through the night, writers that have wrestled with their demons and found light out of darkness...listening to songs that ask us to stretch wider, even through our pain, this all feeds our spirit and helps widen our vision.

So what does this have to do with spirit and material matter? 

Because unlike spirit energy, material energy is stable and solid, it is slow to change and constant - so it can create the illusion of permanence. When we look at the world through a material lens we think things will always be as they are, that change will be slow to come and may never come and if we believe this illusion, then we are in danger of giving up...of not seeing the immense value of our efforts, both in words and actions.

And so we become dependent on the material world and we think if there is to be change we must be fully in charge. I know that if I move a chair change happens. If I wash my clothes I remove the stains. And so I begin to believe that all of life is like this and if I am to be in charge, then I can create the change I want by controlling the outcome of each action I take. This is the illusion of control - that somehow if we are just to be in charge, then we can control outcomes.

When we believe the illusion of control we begin to actually become out of control, by trying to control every aspect of our lives and the lives of others. We direct our children. We subjugate our employees into submission through systems of reviews and write-ups. We manipulate and maneuver every aspect of our lives so that the outcome matches our vision of what is right and true.

So why is this bad?

When we become so consumed by control we lose control, our emotions are left unattended as they are not part of our vision of control and when you leave powerful energy like emotions unattended, they can become destructive. Eventually our control will meet a force that will challenge its ability. When we meet this force it will push us to either submit and learn to listen to our spirit energy as a motivating force or we will degenerate into more inhumane behaviors in an effort to control an outcome we desire. We may rationalize these behaviors as necessary to achieve the outcome we believe to be right and true, when the reality is, we may actually be scared of what does it mean if we do not achieve our outcome. Because dependence on the material world for our personal well-being and worth, sets us up to a very high standard of success that is also measured by the material world. We begin to believe that more money, means more success; a promotion, means more success; a bigger house, means more success. And we lose sight of that which might actually be of greater service to us for all eternity: the strength of our spirit.

The strength of our spirit is the one thing we do get to take with us when we die. 

And how do we strengthen our spirit?

By releasing control. Learning to work with others and their vision. Learning to develop tact and wisdom of when to speak out and when to remain silent. Learning to have patience and faith in the process of growth that all of humanity is moving through. And of supreme importance, learning to have humility...trusting that whatever our spirit aspires to, when guided by the forces of love and unity, will most assuredly contribute to the progress of the world.

In the words of one of the great Luminaries of the East,

"One deed in this Day, is equivalent to deeds performed during a hundred thousand years" (Bahá'u'lláh".

I guess we cannot really say what impact our efforts and work has on the world, but I will trust Bahá'u'lláh and be anxiously concerned with the needs of this age that we live in and make every effort that my deeds reflect the best of my spirit and what I have to offer the world.

Perfectionism and Success: Is it an Illusion?

Consider then, how all the peoples of the world are bowing the knee to a fancy of their own contriving, how they have created a creator within their own minds, and they call it the Fashioner of all that is—whereas in truth it is but an illusion. Thus are the people worshipping only an error of perception. - 'Abdu'l-Bahá

Recently I have been reflecting on what is success, what is good, what is getting it right and what does it mean to be doing well. We have all asked and been asked, How are you doing? and we respond, I'm good. I'm doing well. But what does that mean really? Does that mean all things are in order and everyone is marching ahead? Does that mean we are all getting straight As in life and everything we do? We have set up a system of good and bad, of right and wrong, and some of us make it and others fall short. But who set up this standard? How do we know if this standard is valid and what makes it a standard? There are two sources I go to when trying to decide whether something has merit or not: Divine Teachings and Stories.

Divine Teachings

What are divine teachings? They are also known as Holy books or Holy words and they come from the Prophets, messengers sent to guide humanity with a spiritual blueprint through this maze of life. One of the continuous strands of these great Teachers and their Texts is they all mirror each other. None of these Prophets deviates from the other in their spiritual concepts. They guide humanity forward with the same stream of guidance for the spirit:

• Be humble

• Embrace tests and difficulties

• Live a life of prayer and supplication

So then why do we think when life is hard or when we're facing mass difficulties that it is a sign that we failed? Why do we cringe back in shame when we don't "get life right"? Why do we think prayer and supplication are for nuns and monks cloistered on a mountain top? 

I think we have strayed so far from our spiritual blueprint that we have created our own measurements and they are based on the world's standards. We believe that there is such a thing as a gifted student that implies others are not. We believe that getting straight As means we have succeeded and when we prepare hard for something and don't get it, we have failed. We have forgotten we are spirit beings first with full access to all the powers of the spirit realm:

• Intuition

• Presence

• Love - Love - Love

These are powerful tools that can help us breakaway from this world of illusions where we measure our spirits to material standards. How far does your spirit stretch? Far beyond the canyons of the mountains, but how would you know this if every time you face a test and difficulty you cringe back in shame? If every time your kid does not make the honor roll, does not make the dean's list you hold back and wonder what you did wrong? It is not to say that those who do are getting it wrong either. It is to say that we should not measure ourselves against the false standards of man. Instead, we should look deep within and ask: 

• What am I learning about patience? about love? about being present?

• What am I learning about how to love deeply despite my loved one's shortcomings?

• What am I learning about staying in the conversation when things are not going well?

• What am I learning about what to do with deep pain and sorrow when I feel I can't seem to get things right? 

And what about stories?

Stories

I think beyond being a storyteller, I am also drawn to stories because a good story tells us of a life well-lived. They tell us of how life can try and shape and mold a person, but when led by Spirit, the protagonist in the story instead releases all control and is guided by a much deeper inner knowing, a calling, a truth that will not release them and while on the inside it is pure light and love, on the outside it can look like a mess and a half. 

What are examples of this kind of life? There are many and again, I often turn to those early believers of the great Prophets to see what they did when trying to live a life based on the spiritual blueprint they were given and not this external reality they live in. 

Paul comes to mind. I have not studied the Bible as many of my dear friends have, but when I am faced with great tests and difficulties - and I have been completely flattened out by tests numerous times - many of my dearest friends will ask me to look to the life of Paul. Paul, an early Christian teacher, spent the majority of his life in prison. He often referenced a deep and difficult pain that assailed him continuously and yet he learned to glory in this weakness because the message he got was, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness." And yet, all of us try and get away from weakness. Still, the great teachers of these stories show us that in weakness they are strong, in humility they are powerful. 

Another example for me of this understanding is someone more recent to our lives, South African Freedom Fighter Nelson Mandela. What a fiery power he was his whole life and yet how different this fire showed up at different times of his life! Initially as he worked tirelessly to break Apartheid he used this fire to place a constant strain on this unjust system. After he was imprisoned, he continued to fight and over time this fire bowed to humility and his gentle presence became a testament of faith in the nobility of the soul of all humans, even those who aspired to oppress him. 

• Humility 

• True joy in the face of extreme pain

• A life not of material successes

These are concepts we are not very comfortable with, instead we want demonstrations of material wealth, some outward manifestation of success that the world would applaud - surely this does not include: imprisonment, a C or D student, unemployment, underemployment. And of course, one does not desire these things, nor should one strive towards them. But if they happen to you, wouldn't the real measurement come with how did you walk these tests? Wouldn't the real question be, what can we all learn with you as you learn to walk these difficulties with spirit feet? Because if you are willing to expand, if you are willing to help us all break away from this illusion, you would invite us on this journey of life you are living and you would teach us about what you are learning:

• How does a soul expand beyond its current limitations?

• How does pain become a tool for healing and greater joy?

• How do we walk away from shame and embrace humility and truth-seeking?

I am learning these things and I invite you to walk with me and I will share all I learn. I hope you will do the same. 

Y Si el Sufrimiento nos Lleva al Amor?

"La mente y el espíritu del hombre avanzan cuando es probado por el sufrimiento. Cuanto más se arada la tierra, mejor crecerá la semilla, mejor será la cosecha. Así como el arado surca la tierra profundamente, purificándola de malezas y cardos, por lo tanto, el sufrimiento y la tribulación liberan al hombre de los pequeños asuntos de esta vida mundana hasta que llega a un estado de completo desapego". - 'Abdul-Bahá



Parece que vivimos en una sociedad que está profundamente convencida de que si podemos vivir una vida sin preocupaciones y sin estrés, lo estamos haciendo bien. Cada vez más, he empezado a cuestionar esta idea y me pregunto si hay un significado mucho más profundo del sufrimiento y la incomodidad que perderemos si intentamos mantenernos alejados del sufrimiento. No estoy abogando que nos preocupemos, la preocupación se debe al temor que puede llevar a un deseo de control. No estoy diciendo que debamos enfatizar tampoco el estrés; el estrés es un síntoma de un intento de controlar algo que puede no estar bajo nuestra capacidad de controlar. Y, finalmente, definitivamente no estoy diciendo que debamos buscar el sufrimiento o, peor, infligirlo a los demás. Lo que estoy diciendo es que al tratar de evitar el sufrimiento que naturalmente viene con la vida, también podemos estar evitando la oportunidad de amar profundamente.

Entonces, ¿cómo debemos tratar con el sufrimiento?

Cuando se piensa en el sufrimiento, surge la pregunta: ¿cuál es la causa? A menudo la causa es una interacción con alguien o algo. Cuando esta interacción es dolorosa o triste y nos sentimos incómodos, intentamos alejarnos del dolor o del miedo. Nos alejamos no solo porque es incómodo, sino que lo más probable es que no sepamos qué hacer con el dolor o el miedo cuando aparecen, nunca nos han enseñado qué hacer con las emociones que no nos gustan, excepto reprimirlos. Las emociones son energía y, de acuerdo con las leyes de la energía, no puedes destruir la energía, no puedes hacer más de ella, solo puedes transformarla. Entonces, cuando reprimimos la tristeza y el miedo, puede transformarse en sufrimiento.

Debido a que no hemos liberado el dolor y el miedo, se convierte en un sentimiento constante de dolor y el temor de no ser digno de nada bueno. El sufrimiento por sí solo es inútil, pero si puede ser como una herramienta para el crecimiento, solo requiere movimiento para que cumpla su propósito. Cuando se ve como una herramienta para el crecimiento espiritual, el sufrimiento tiene una gran capacidad.

Lo que he aprendido sobre el sufrimiento es que requiere movimiento para que pueda liberar sus poderes espirituales. Este movimiento puede venir en forma de liberar el dolor y los miedos. Puede venir en la renuncia al control, reconociendo cuando uno ha hecho todo lo que puede y luego las cosas que aún estamos sufriendo, libérelas para que una fuerza superior en la naturaleza pueda tomarlas. Este movimiento extiende el espacio dentro de nosotros, espacio que crea más capacidad para que podamos amar. Cuanto mayor es el sufrimiento, mayor es la capacidad construida dentro de nosotros para amar.

Este movimiento de sufrimiento a través de nosotros es una fuerza tal que, cuando se sostiene, le permite a uno liberar todas las creencias falsas que tienen en su interior. El sufrimiento nos obstruye y este encofrado hace que nos liberemos con gran fuerza. El sufrimiento nos dobla y al doblar en dolor hace que eliminemos todas aquellas cosas que sosteníamos dentro que creíamos que son verdad ... ¿y si no soy lo suficientemente bueno? ¿Qué pasa si me falla? ¿Y si nadie me quiere? ¿Y si siempre estaré solo? ... y de esta purga viene la oportunidad, la oportunidad de decirnos la verdad.

Pienso en purgar como en vomitar. Cuando vomitamos nos sentimos muy mal. Nuestro estómago se aprieta fuertemente, nuestra garganta nos duele, nuestra boca saliva con un sabor horrible, y luego lo peor nos sale en pedazos, trozos y jugos, todo sale con un olor horrible. ¡Esto es purgar emociones! Puede ser horrible en el proceso, pero una vez que ha comenzado a vomitar, no puede detenerse repentinamente. Lo mismo ocurre con la purga de emociones: una vez que permites que la presa se libere, no puedes intentar detenerla, debe fluir y dejar salir. ¿Y qué pasa cuando terminamos? Nos sentimos adoloridos, pero mejor. Al igual que después de vomitar, nos sentimos un poco temblorosos y crudos por dentro, ¡pero luego nos sentimos mejor! Poco después de vomitar, queremos algo suave y calmante, y queremos que nos abrazen y nos amen. Lo mismo es cierto después de que hayamos liberado muchas emociones y creencias falsas, queremos ser sostenidos, nutridos y amados profundamente y queremos ser llenos de la verdad.


Y poco después de vomitar, no tiene nada dentro de usted ... y su apetito se abrirá.

¡Así es como el sufrimiento nos abre! Finalmente lo dejamos ir, empujamos y liberamos todo dentro de nosotros y un espacio más amplio se ha abierto dentro de nosotros, listo para ser llenado ... ¡así que debemos estar atentos de que nos llenamos!



Entonces, ¿con qué nos llenamos?



Yo digo amor Amor por nosotros mismos, por el camino de la vida que se nos dio para aprender, amor por los más cercanos a nosotros, por el camino de la vida que se nos dio para aprender, amor por este Ser Divino que cree tanto en nuestra capacidad para movernos y crecer.

And What if Suffering Leads to Love?

"The mind and spirit of man advance when he is tried by suffering. The more the ground is ploughed the better the seed will grow, the better the harvest will be. Just as the plough furrows the earth deeply, purifying it of weeds and thistles, so suffering and tribulation free man from the petty affairs of this worldly life until he arrives at a state of complete detachment." - 'Abdul-Bahá

It seems we live in a society that is deeply convinced that if we can just live a worry-free, stress-free life we are doing it right. Increasingly I have begun to question this idea and wonder if there is a much deeper significance to suffering and discomfort that we will lose if we try and stay away from suffering. I am not advocating that we worry, worry stems from fear that can lead to a desire to control. I am not saying that we should stress either, stress is a symptom of an attempt to control something that may not be under our ability to control. And finally, I am definitely not saying we should seek suffering or worse, inflict it on others. What I am saying, is that in trying to avoid the suffering that naturally comes with life, we may also be avoiding an opportunity to love deeply.

So then how should we deal with suffering?

When thinking about suffering, the question arises what is the cause? Often the cause is an interaction with someone or something. When this interaction is painful or sad and we become uncomfortable, we try and pull away from the pain or the fear. We pull away not only because it is uncomfortable, but most likely we don't know what to do with pain or fear when they show up, as a people we have never really been taught what to do with emotions we don't like except repress them. Emotions are energy and according to the laws of energy, you cannot destroy energy, you cannot make more of it, you can only transform it. So when we repress sadness and fear, it can be transformed into suffering.
Because we have not released the pain and fear, it becomes a constant feeling of pain and a fear of being undeserving of anything good. Suffering by itself is useless as a tool for growth, it requires movement in order for it serve its purpose. When seen as a tool for spiritual growth, suffering has great capacity.

What I have learned about suffering is that it requires movement in order for it to release its spiritual powers. This movement can come in the form of releasing pain and fears. It can come in the relinquishment of control, recognizing when one has done all they can and then those things that we are still suffering over, release them so that a higher force in nature can take hold of them. This movement stretches out space within us, space that creates more capacity for us to love. The bigger the suffering, the greater the capacity built within us to love.

This movement of suffering through us is such a force that when sustained, allows one to release all the false beliefs they held within. Suffering shutters us and this shuttering causes us to release with great force. Suffering doubles us over and this doubling over causes us to purge out all those things we held within that we thought were true...what if I'm not good enough? what if I failed? what if nobody wants me? what if I'll always be alone?...and from this purging comes opportunity, opportunity to tell ourselves the truth.

I think of purging like throwing up. When throwing up we feel awful. Our stomach wretches, our throat aches, our mouth salivates a horrible taste, and then the worst stuff comes out of us in bits and pieces, chunks and juices, all of it comes out and with a horrible smell. This is purging emotions! It can be awful in the process, but once you have begun throwing up, you cannot suddenly stop. Same with purging of emotions - once you allow the dam to release, you cannot try and stop it, it must flow and be allowed out. And what happens when we are done? We feel sore, but better. Just like after throwing up - we feel a little shaky and raw inside for a bit, but then we feel better! Soon after throwing up we want something gentle and soothing and we want to be held and loved. The same is true after we have released a great deal of emotions and false beliefs, we want to be held and nurtured and loved deeply and we want to be filled with the truth.

And soon after you throw up, you have nothing left inside of you...and your appetite will open up.
This is how suffering opens us up! We finally let go, we contract and release everything within us and a wider space has opened up inside of us, ready to be filled...so we must be mindful of what we fill it with!

So what do we fill ourselves with?

I say love. Love for ourselves, for the life walk we were given to learn from, love for those closest to us, for the life walk they were given to learn from, love for this Divine Being that believes so much in our capacity to move through this life and all of its tests and difficulties and still land in love.

And Who Are Your Elders?...Why Stories Matter.

 Somehow the third course carried into the late hours and the cousins table slowly dispersed into the living room and into bed. I would lay next to my sister and listen to the cups slide into each other and my tias interrupt each other and my father say – otro mas, para que se vayan a dormir – and everyone would laugh and refill cups and Spanish would mix with Quechua creating the background to my dreams. - Excerpt from the upcoming An Amancaya Life

I grew up in a family of storytellers. Both sides of my family told stories, though in very different ways. My mother would keep us enthralled in car rides or while tucking us in bed with stories of her dog Scoutie and the many adventures of her and her brothers with their father in New England. My mother's sister would show me letters from our early ancestors and of the difficulties they faced as the first European pilgrims in North America. My father's stories were always told over food and with his sisters and brother all around the table talking over each other adding details to their stories and making them larger than life. They would tell of the mischief they made in their home back in Bolivia where my grandmother had lots of land. They would tell of the many baskets of fruit and vegetables they harvested, so much so that they often took big baskets to the church, to widows and elders who might be in need. These stories became the backdrop of my life. These stories held the dreams of my elders, their wishes and desires and most importantly, their failures and triumphs, which spoke of the nature of life - filled with injustices and unexpected rewards.

These are the stories of our elders, those who made strides and great efforts before us. Telling our stories keeps us connected to each other and also reminds us of sacrifices made for us by those we didn't even know and oftentimes weren't related to.

The narrative of working hard and getting ahead in life is a powerful one and if we believe that this is all we have to do, then we look around us and make a lot of judgements about those who are not "getting ahead" in life. Thankfully, once again, stories save us from ourselves and these false narratives we tell ourselves and society. Stories tell a fuller truth and our lives become the complex reality of good vs evil all wrapped in one.

And so, it was with great intrigue that I came across some of these stories in this new part of California that I have the blessing to make my home (Resource of African-Americans in Santa Cruz). As my daughter and I and a good friend explored the Museum of Art and History in Santa Cruz, lovingly referred to as the MAH, we came across some unexpected stories that once again reshaped our thinking around this myth of

meritocracy. We learned about Dave Boffman who was an enslaved man in Kentucky and who traveled to California with the slaveowner of the plantation he lived on. Boffman was able to earn enough money to buy his freedom, he bought a house, leased a saw mill and began working to mill timber. He even purchased a small ranch in Rodeo Gulch, becoming one of the first African-American land owners in Santa Cruz. The sheriff at the time accused him of stealing a horse. As Blacks were not allowed to testify in court during the 1800s, he lost everything and spent the rest of his life in a shack. Boffman's story contradicts the myth of African-American's not working hard enough and instead demonstrates how systematic racism created conditions of oppression and loss of wealth.

Another elder we learned about was Louden Nelson, also enslaved from North Carolina who came to

California with the slaveowner. He also was able to buy his freedom and worked in odd jobs while growing fruits and vegetables on his farm. He was also able to buy land by the San Lorenzo River. Nelson noticed how children in Santa Cruz could only go to school when their parents could pay and of course, school was restricted only for white children. Having never been allowed to go to school to receive formal education and being stripped of his ancestral knowledge, Nelson recognized the value of education. Finally, the all white school board shut down public schools unwilling to fund them any longer. Upon his death, Nelson bequeathed his entire estate to the school children of Santa Cruz, therefore allowing public schools to open once again. Another example that demonstrates how the spirit of a people cannot be destroyed, and despite the conditions of oppression that stripped him of the right to an education, Nelson chose a nobler path of serving all students in public education with his endowment.

And finally, we were able to recently connect with some of the elders of the Amah Mutsun Tribe, whose land Santa Cruz was built on.

When I met Catherine, I told her my name.
Ymasumac?, she said.
Yes, I answered.
Like from Pachamama and Mama Occlo.

I had never known anyone to know the names of my ancestors guides, much less upon first meeting

Author with Catherine and her family

each other. We immediately hugged in sisterhood and spent over an hour connecting over dreams, tears, and stories. We knew our stories were long ago connected through shared ancestry of struggle, resilience and hope and this created an immediate bond. We knew we had long ago met and we were meant to teach each other again of all that was lost. I also knew it is with gentle feet that I need to walk these Santa Cruz mountains because all of it was lost to the Amah Mutsun and that needs to be honored. How do we right these wrongs? Building relationships and friendships is the beginning...and you let love lead.

You see, these stories keep us and our walk sacred. These stories of our elders reminds us of the truth of injustice, of struggle, of loss, of triumph and of victories to come. They keep us humble and keep us moving forward. When we have nothing else, we have stories and they connect us to our elders and to each other.

Perception Drives Beliefs which Alter Reality

I was preparing a for a class recently at the university where I teach a course on adolescence and we were going to talk about the school system. Having been raised in two very distinct cultures: Indigenous-Latino with Quechua roots and European American who's ancestors came two years after the first pilgrims came to North America, I am highly conscious of the filters with which we view the world and how they are shaped by our perceptions, which in turn are deeply impacted by our belief systems and highly impacted by our cultural references that impact norms and standards. So, when I think of reality, I am always looking for multiple realities knowing that it highly depends on the doorway of your perception.

When we talk about the U.S. system of education, we cannot divorce this from these multiple realities. We cannot speak about a system of education as if it holds only one window in which we all look through. Our experiences in any system of education will depend highly on the door in which we walk in.  As I researched for my class, I came across a letter from the interactions between the early European pilgrims and the Indigenous people of the Eastern states of North America. It was a response from one of the tribal elders to the colonists. In this letter the elder mentions an invitation made by the colonists for the tribe to send their brightest men to attend the college of the colonists. The tribe responded and a few of their men were sent. Upon returning to the tribe, these young men found their new found skills to be of no use and felt useless in face of the needs of the tribe. The elder mentions this in the letter and in turn invites the colonists to send them their brightest and best young men to be educated by the tribe. The colonists never respond to this invitation.

The interactions of this letter made me think how we define success and value according to our perceptions of reality and belief systems. If we value individualism, competition, and assertiveness than we may very well find success in our educational system as this is the doorway in which it was set up with a set of Western values and norms. But, as the letter suggests, if you enter through a different doorway, as did the elder's young men, then these offer very little value to the survival of your family and more importantly, tribe. If the colonists entered through the doorway of the tribal people on whose land they were building a nation, they might have found that instead of individualism, competition and assertiveness, they would find success through developing a collectivist approach to their tasks in which collectivism, collaboration and group consensus would take precedence. 

So, this is interesting historically, but what are the implications for today? 

Our schools are set up with a learning culture that ultimately, at its core, believes in individualism, competing and striving to be at the top and asserting yourself over others. If you walk in through this doorway and you hold these beliefs to be true, then you could do well. But if you are like me, and either you walk in two worlds in which one is collectivistic and one is individualistic, it is much harder to choose which doorway to walk through. One doorway sacrifices the other. 

So what to do?

When I think of this seemingly conundrum, there are two shifts that I think need to be a part of the change we all seek in the educational system and even in our home learning cultures. 

Multiple Doorways

It is important to recognize that many of us are walking through different doorways into a learning space. I don't mean different doorways in the sense that we are all individuals and with different strengths and weaknesses. I mean collectively, groups have different realities according to their cultural groups and the norms and beliefs of those groups that shape their world view and value system as in the example shared in the letter. 

Many students walk in through different doorways according to their culture and those things valued by each may differ than the school's dominant culture. This may seem small at first, but placing a student in between two cultures can create a clash, which without guidance, can cause an inner conflict. They might be left feeling that they have to choose one doorway to enter into the educational realm successfully, which can by its very nature ask them to sacrifice the other. 

Couple this conflict with the history of oppression humanity has experienced in various ways, in particular through its experiences of colonialism, and you have another layer of right and wrong. The right doorway to enter is through the dominant culture where you develop a strong sense of self and let that self-drive push you through to the top: the top of your class, your team, your group, your class, your art, your sport, your field, etc, etc, etc. This doorway will lead to success as defined by Western standards. 

We can help students with this conflict in two ways: 

One is to understand that these multiple doorways exist. This alone helps students realize that this conflict is not about them being inherently flawed for not finding the right way to succeed. Instead they can begin to work through the gifts and challenges of each doorway and help schools stretch into larger versions of excellence and success. Challenge the system to be more and ultimately, begin questioning itself.

Two, explore the history of oppression and its impact on all people. It did not only impact people of color negatively, those of European descent lost their humanity in order to ride the wave of success of colonialism. Explore with students how this oppression was systemized and shows up today in our school system, our neighborhoods, housing, etc. An excellent article on the Myth of Meritocracy cites a research study in which middle schoolers who came from historically oppressed communities did well academically until they reached the 7th grade. In 7th grade, right at the time when they begin to form a sense of cultural identity, they see the conditions of their home community group and because meritocracy is so strong in the dominant culture of the United States, they falsely believe the conditions of their people are because of an inherent flaw within them. Self-identifying with the negative stereotypes told about their cultural group, they fall into behaviors that ultimately harm them. The research study found that by empowering students with the truth of systematic oppression, students begin to realize it is a systemic condition and can be changed. Students begin to see themselves as protagonists of change, able to shift the reality of the conditions in which they live. 

Seeking Truth Through Consultation

Another important shift is moving away from dichotomous thinking. We currently live in a society

that is strongly polarized by right and wrong, yes and no, and when we think in these terms no one wins. Like a child moving through adolescence, we can try and hold onto these false dichotomies of right and wrong in an effort to find calm and balance in a world that increasingly feels unbalanced. As humanity collectively moves through the stage of adolescence, we will increasingly find ourselves needing to move away from simple answers of yes and no, to searching through the complexity of human experiences for the truth. This search for truth will require a new tool that can elevate our conversations from finger-pointing that runs on fear and pain, to a recognition of the oneness of humanity and the inherent value that each human soul has something of deep value to contribute. 

I have found the tool of consultation to be of great value for me and my family as we try and sift through the diverse cultures and belief systems that run through our family to the truth. Along with many other families, the hard realities of the society we live in have impacted us deeply and we at times also feel lost and confused. And, like other families, with historical oppression running deep in our blood, one can feel overwhelmed by the pain and anger that can well up at the callous effects this oppression can have on family relations and with larger society. The effects of oppression can show up in mental illness, in a false sense of isolation and division among loved ones, self-identifying with stereotypes and often feeling not good enough. These have all shown up at my doorstep either through familial experiences or with the many noble souls I get to engage with in healing work who try to shift through the mire of pain, fear and anger that wells up inside of them. 

I use consultation in the tradition of the Baha'i Faith, which asks the participants to detach from hoped for outcomes and instead to enter the consultation with a pure heart in search of truth. 

The first condition is absolute love and harmony - 'Abdu'l-Bahá 

As humanity moves through the mire of difficulties that lies before it, we can no longer hope to strong arm each other in believing that there is only one of us who is right. We must begin the path of maturity in which we recognize that humans are complex beings with many paths and doorways traveling through and around them. That answers lie in learning from each other and with each other. That truth will only come when we stop holding onto our version of reality as the only version. When we begin to recognize, that maybe there are multiple ways to view and experience the world, and to learn from each other about these multiple ways might mean suspending the truth as we know it with an open heart for a new truth to show up.